question marks all over my head....

jz came bk from a kl kepong-setapak trip...
went to kl to c the college n hostel around thr...
v kok wai, yan mei, stephy n his bf...
special thanks to han jie for being our driver...
bring us here n there..
play NAMI thr..learn much...
feel free when hanging v them...
bt dunno y...after came bk...
after surfing the net...
starts to had bad feelings...
feel like wana cry sumore...
wondering wat's bothering me???
studies? boys? frens?

firstly...studies....
after looking around kl area...
goshhh....totally dun like there...
dunno how to describe oso...
tot whole gang of frens can live outside geh...
bt now thk thk har...
better stay temporarily in college geh hostel 1st ler...
let me biasa the place jor...
oni find outside the hse lo...
n the course...
still confusing btw AFA n AAC..
got so hard to decide meh???
y dis 2 kip bothering me ar???
AFA seems like goin to die lidat...
AAC seems useless lidat...
aiksssss....FAN ARHHHH!!!!!!
how much effort i can put on it ar???
im rili not a person hu likes study tat much...
not STUDY GHOST...
can i rili handle it??
the 1st question mark...

secondly...xxx...
dis guy...slowly dissappearing in my life again...
after tat meet feel that u changed...
izzit i rili tat bad ar??? i mean outlook...
yea..i admit im fat, i dun like make up...black skin...
den??? rili dunno wat u thinking abt...
2nd question mark...

thirdly...another guy...
dis wan more complicated...
tired...
no matter wat i do...
at last i get ntg...
if rili not suitable/impossible for me...
den god should take it away from me ar...
y still let me turning around inside it???
3rd question mark...

fourthly...frenss...
rili nvr thought tat v are goin to separate like this...
5 of us...oni me confirm goin advanced oni...
im goin thr alone...
v frens tat are not so close...
i choose to go in hostel alone...
looking for new frens n start my new life...
can i?? i'll miss them badly tat time...
in dis 2 yrs...v went thru many things...
arguements...study 2gether...play 2gether...
they were v me when i 失恋...
sumtimes too close de fren not tat gud oso...
bt i nvr regret b4 tat v were in dis group of 5...
decisions have to be made among us...
no matter wat v had chosen...
i oso hope tat v can go thru in smoothly...
will v cry 4 the last day??
will v still talk our sum si 2gether???
will v still so fren after v separate???
i rmb melon said b4...
best fren jau forever best fren...

i had no preparation of all these changes!!! T.T

tired..

人是没完美的。。
完美主义者就算要要求完美。。
在事物上就够，
别把它拉到人物上。。
这并不可双题并论。。
世界上没有完美的事。。
很多是可以拿来玩的。。
就是爱情这东西不能拿来玩的。。
不是因为别人有 你也要有。。
别抱着这种新心态来对待爱情。。
不要随便牵手更不要随便放手。。
受过伤的伤口。。
那痕迹是无从磨灭的。。
在爱情错了一次。。
不会有从来的机会了。。
留下来的。。
就是给你终身的愧疚。。。
wow...i rili dis..
saw it from kok wai's blog...
rili meaningful...
aiksss...
my ji mui got vv hurt dis time...
even dave oso didnt make her like dis...
she wana pretend to b strong...
bt....tears are dropping...heart are bleeding...
look at her...i sud thk of last time de me...
when i was "fly" by him...
when i was still in the pain...
i oso cry like her...whenever, wherever oso will thk of it...
i oso feel sad when c her like dis...
i dun like to c my frens sad n cry...
as i dunno how to help them...
jz to pray god that's enuf 4 her...
dun let her suffer sumore ler...

rili tired...2day whole day...
utar, ktar, kl, penang, acca are all around my ears...
wat decision is the best leh??
aikss....
cant sumone jz pou the road 4 me n walk?
i rili hate doin decision...
so many considerations nid to care abt...
tired n sien d...
advanced diploma jau advanced diploma ler...
dun thk so much ler...
act is i dun hv the energy to thk sumore...
no matter how the treat of advanced diploma n degree...
i trust that..it depends on how u work in the future...
if u get a master...bt u are a blank paper..
is oso the same jek...
UK degree...as it is so expensive to study overseas...
i oso thk that it had its value...
how much pay is depends on wat company u choose to join it ba...
10.30m now...n i feel my whole body was powerless...
><..

down.......

yeaaa...is true i knew well how is his character more than anyone of them...
n i knew wat is happening oso...
bt the fact is i couldn't wake up...
another gal tat hurt by him oso wake up d...
y i still in it...sumore wan her to 让 me?
sked i get hurt n cant accept??
wat the...
im rili tired v it ler...
if i got heart attack...
i oledi died when noe-ing all those things...
too chi gek d...
noe many many unexpected things...
can sumone tell me is jz a dream...
can sumone tell me it is not happened v this guy...
haih....
left dis few weeks...
enuf la...stop giving me "bad romance".."bad suprises"...
fuck off...tired to get angry sumre...
im down.........
(baby i am down down down down down.....><)

fucking things....

AIKSSSS!!!
sumthing rili dunno better i noe it...
stupid itchy hand go find it out n read it...
see...now dunno how to face it ler...
guys...
u all are human beings oso...
y can b until lidat gah???
playboys...
playing girl's heart rili so fun meh??
a girl treat u so gud...
u rili dun have a minute or a second feel touch de meh???
can still play her lidat?
such fucking things infront of my eyes...
rili couldnt believe it...
n dunno wat should i do....
time...pls flies faster....
faster fin dis few weeks ba...
tired on putting effort on him...
do i rili sad or rili down???
1st time i skip tutorial cls...
try to kip sleeping n sleeping...
jz not to care things??
dunno how to react to him n her??
her...
although i said sorry ler...
bt i thk still have a "duri" in her heart ler...
sry 4 the scolding...
i didnt mean it de...
jz see u too rely on us...
tell u wat to do..wat to press...
u hvn thk jau ask us ler...
hope u dun b lidat oni...
i noe u angry me, mayb hate me oso...
jau sun i say sry ler i thk cant help anythg ba...
tats y i dunno how to face u oso lo...
rili down...let me dun feel like talking infront of u guys...
cls again...fucking 5pm cls...
>.<

hope things will b simple...

jz come bk from my class trip...
wooo....went to genting...
finally gather the cls goin 4 the trip b4 v graduate...
quite fun...coz i 1st time tried to roller coaster...
nice n excited...
will upload the photos soon ya...

hmm....
one week after the argue...
i tot v will nvr contact bk anymore...
as i still thinking bt u owiz...
rili din expect u will find me tat nite...
with cries...
i didnt noe i will hurt u so much...
i rili cant bcoz u cry, beg me lidat den open file....
could i bcoz of that b v u again???
when i heard u cry lidat...
my tears dropping oso...
i dunno did i still love u...
bt i noe i rili do care u...
u are still an important person to me...
u left me, i learn to b strong...
bt now u tell me u cant go thru it??
wth...y things will happen lidat??
rili seksa....
u rili let me worry...
luckily u were alright 2nite..
hope u can slp tight n dun thk so much...
i feel better...
rili dunno wat will happen the other days...
god, pls treat me gud la...
i rili dun wish to b so complicated...
let things b simple kay....

update...

wow...it's been a "century" i nvr update my blog d..
sem break over d..cny over d..start new sem d..
now oni i touch it..
kinda feel lazy to upload those photos...
haha..cny went johor bharu..
one yr one time..
meet v my dear relatives...
den got 2 days 1 night at singapore oso...
rili damn like dis city...
my dream city..not goin far..
singapore is enuf for my future..
quite enjoying dis cny...

my new yr2 3rd sem oso start jor 2 weeks ler..
left 5 weeks sumore..
i told myself to enjoy myself dis sem...
play wat v didnt play b4...
eat wat v didnt eat b4...
do wat v didnt do b4...
bt...make u angry...
kip on nagging me...
let me feel so dislike...
do i still love u??
izzit rili i got T den forget Y??
did T so big influence to me??
ya...bcoz of T..i 1st time lie to u..
bcoz of myself, i 1st time scold u lidat...
i noe i change alot...
change until i oso cant recognise myself...
doin things tat i should not do...
do i still love u??
y dis time i no tat strong feel anymore??
r we rili end??

we are in different world..
im in studying world..
u are in working world...
mind are different too...
last time v u..u were the one take care-ing of me..
let me learn many things from u...
bt as u leave..i learn to b alone without u..
open my heart to accept others sumore..
once it changed...it would be difficult to change bk...
sry...take care urself...
rmb one important thing...
don't drop her alone whatever things happen...
b right beside her...
time will change everything..
once it changed...
dun think of finding bk..
dun cry babe...